How Choosing a Boyfriend is Like Adopting a Dog

Like finding a boyfriend, adopting a dog can be stressful. The biggest decision: where should you get it? Should you buy a pure bred from a breeder? Should you adopt a grown-up dog? Or should you get an adorable little puppy? Each option has pros and cons, and they are surprisingly similar to the pros and cons of different boyfriends.

Option 1: Buy a pure bred.

This is like dating a guy for his money/family name, or a guy who is good-looking and knows it.

Pros: You know their family pedigree. They look good walking beside you, and you can show them off.

Cons: They can be high-strung and high-maintenance. Often, the money and effort it takes to get them is not worth the attitude problems.

Option 2: Adopt a fully-grown dog who has had previous owners.

This is like dating a guy who has had lots of relationship experience.

Pros: Already trained. You don’t have to put in the effort to train him to stay off the couch (or buy you flowers on your birthday).

Cons: You don’t know what kind of emotional damage he brings to the relationship. Will he run away every time you squeak a squeaky toy? Will he hide under your bed when you have company over? Will he get insanely jealous if another guy texts you? It’s a risk.

Option 3: Get a puppy.

This is like dating a guy who hasn’t had many (or any) serious relationships.

Pros: A puppy will be crazy about you. It will go nuts and lick your face every time you walk in the door. It will grow into the most loyal dog ever, and you can train it to behave exactly the way you want.

Cons: You have to put in the time and effort to train it. He may pee on the carpet a few times or chew up a few shoes before he gets it right. You may have to break out the rolled-up newspaper a few times to get your point across. 

On the flip side, women are like cats. It doesn't matter where you get them or how hard you try to train them, they will just do what they want to do anyway.